In the little while it's been since my last post, I've basically just been really caught up in my NAET treatments.
I been having one appointment a week, and each session takes a fair amount of prep work, gathering and preparing foods for the avoidance phase, which is different every time, and also going through the house and removing anything that I'm not supposed to come in contact with.
I usually have my appt. in the afternoon so Brian can watch the kids when he gets home from work, which is nice not having to worry about a babysitter, but also means the 25 hour avoidance phase isn't over til like 5 or 6 the next evening, whereas, if I have a morning appt., then the avoidance phase can be over the following morning, so it feels a lot shorter. Oh well... Finding a sitter every week is too much to worry about, so it is what it is.
It's also difficult during the avoidance phase because the kids are home and unless they are eating what I'm allowed to eat, they have to get things themselves, which usually means they end up spilling cereal all over the kitchen and there are dirty dishes sitting around all day, and I just have to watch somewhat helplessly....but again, it is what it is, and we are surviving. It's probably good for them to learn how to do some things themselves anyway...Sophie is five and a half and Nathaniel will be four next month. So thankful that they are old enough to take care of themselves to a certain degree or this would be even more difficult!
I think the emotional adjustments have been the harder part of this experience....
It feels like I'm just ready to let everything pour out of me...and it's overwhelming at times because it all wants to come out at once and it's a little scary because you want to know that, when its all over, there will still be a YOU...and not a completely different person. Alicia (NAET practitioner) likes to remind me that "we aren't adding or bringing in something that isn't there, rather, we are helping what doesn't need to be there to fall away, or helping you bring the best part of you, the person you were meant to be, forward." And I just love that...it really lines up with how I feel and what I believe; namely, that God is using this to make me who He wants me to be.
I feel like I'm digging through my Life Closet, and it's like "Where did this come from?",and "How did this get here?", and " What IS this..?", and "How long have I been storing this?"
And you just kind of have to wade through it all and sort it out and let it go. And it does feel good to let things go...but then you find stuff, you feel stuff, and you don't know why it's there and it's hard to go through that because...what is it? So sometimes, you just have to sit with this unsettled feeling for awhile and feel it. And it's uncomfortable, especially because I really like to figure things out. Just give me a rule book and I'm good. But so much of life doesn't have a rule book. So you just have to do the best you can, and for a perfectionist, that's really difficult to think, because...I know I'm not perfect, and for some reason, even though the no rules thing should give me freedom, it actually makes me scared.
Thankfully, I have the Bible, which, thought it doesn't give you the answer the every single specific situation, it does give you general rules and guidelines to keep you on the right path.
"Fear God and keep His commandments." "Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." "Seek peace and pursue it." "Be slow to anger, slow to speak, quick to listen." And there is so much more wonderful advice and truth.
I am learning to trust, have courage, and wait. "Wait on the LORD."
I have had a lot of eye-opening, soul-awakening, heart-revealing moments lately.... good, scary, unsettling, growing...just so much happening inside of me.
I have seen more of my fears coming to light, and let me tell you, that is not very fun. They kind of seem to be pushing themselves to the surface where I have no choice but to look at them and sometimes examine them, and question why exactly they are here. And then sometimes I have been able to completely let one go, or sometimes (usually) I can let go of some of the actual fear so that it just becomes more of an uncomfortable feeling or thought than something that actually controls me.
Alicia talks about the concepts of your "divine self" (your soul, the everlasting part of you, essentially the Real You) and your "created self" (the part of your person you have become because of your life experiences and conscious and subconscious beliefs and thoughts). What she works to do through NAET and the other treatments she offers is to bring these two sides of your person more together, and allow you to be your best self and fulfil your destiny in the most optimal way. For me, I feel like that means not letting my experience of illness essentially become me and change the way I think about myself so much that it keeps me from serving God to the best of my abilities. I also do not think there is any disconnect between these two sides, and fully understand and appreciate that God uses your circumstances and life situations to shape you into the person He wants you to be.
On my part, I have been doing so much praying, first that this would be something that would be pleasing to God, helpful for me, and that this would indeed enable to me to let go of what's pulling me down and holding me back so I can do my very best for Him and my family, and this world.
I have been working hard at acknowledging the things that keep coming forward, one after the other, to see if they are helpful or no longer useful to me; trying to just stay on top of it all, and just allow it to happen.
This is not easy stuff..... I am still living my normal life of wife and mother. Still trying to have some kind of social life. Baking goodies for people, playing piano for church, trying to bring joy and encouragement to others in whatever way I can.
This NAET stuff takes a lot of time and involvement and patience. But, like Brian says "at least its doing something." And I know it's doing something good....even though it doesn't feel very good sometimes, I know the hard stuff is the stuff that grows you, and this too will bring me closer to the person I was made to be.
You know what I realized a little while ago? I have some songs I play on the piano that are my own arrangements of favorite songs, and I realized that these songs are not written on any paper; they are mine, from my heart, put there by God, so that I could bring Him praise in my own special
way that no one else, ever, EVER, could or has or will. And that's just one thing...and that's just me. We all have something special and unique to praise God with. That's why He made you. You are here for a reason and a purpose and a role that you can alone fulfill. And you know what that means...?
He loves you. You are special. So be you, the truest you that you can be, because that is where you will find the most joy and glorify Him the most.
You are destined for great things because you were created by a great God who has great Plans for you.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
(If you feel like it, give this a listen- Danny Gokey~ RISE)
I been having one appointment a week, and each session takes a fair amount of prep work, gathering and preparing foods for the avoidance phase, which is different every time, and also going through the house and removing anything that I'm not supposed to come in contact with.
I usually have my appt. in the afternoon so Brian can watch the kids when he gets home from work, which is nice not having to worry about a babysitter, but also means the 25 hour avoidance phase isn't over til like 5 or 6 the next evening, whereas, if I have a morning appt., then the avoidance phase can be over the following morning, so it feels a lot shorter. Oh well... Finding a sitter every week is too much to worry about, so it is what it is.
It's also difficult during the avoidance phase because the kids are home and unless they are eating what I'm allowed to eat, they have to get things themselves, which usually means they end up spilling cereal all over the kitchen and there are dirty dishes sitting around all day, and I just have to watch somewhat helplessly....but again, it is what it is, and we are surviving. It's probably good for them to learn how to do some things themselves anyway...Sophie is five and a half and Nathaniel will be four next month. So thankful that they are old enough to take care of themselves to a certain degree or this would be even more difficult!
I think the emotional adjustments have been the harder part of this experience....
It feels like I'm just ready to let everything pour out of me...and it's overwhelming at times because it all wants to come out at once and it's a little scary because you want to know that, when its all over, there will still be a YOU...and not a completely different person. Alicia (NAET practitioner) likes to remind me that "we aren't adding or bringing in something that isn't there, rather, we are helping what doesn't need to be there to fall away, or helping you bring the best part of you, the person you were meant to be, forward." And I just love that...it really lines up with how I feel and what I believe; namely, that God is using this to make me who He wants me to be.
I feel like I'm digging through my Life Closet, and it's like "Where did this come from?",and "How did this get here?", and " What IS this..?", and "How long have I been storing this?"
And you just kind of have to wade through it all and sort it out and let it go. And it does feel good to let things go...but then you find stuff, you feel stuff, and you don't know why it's there and it's hard to go through that because...what is it? So sometimes, you just have to sit with this unsettled feeling for awhile and feel it. And it's uncomfortable, especially because I really like to figure things out. Just give me a rule book and I'm good. But so much of life doesn't have a rule book. So you just have to do the best you can, and for a perfectionist, that's really difficult to think, because...I know I'm not perfect, and for some reason, even though the no rules thing should give me freedom, it actually makes me scared.
Thankfully, I have the Bible, which, thought it doesn't give you the answer the every single specific situation, it does give you general rules and guidelines to keep you on the right path.
"Fear God and keep His commandments." "Love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." "Seek peace and pursue it." "Be slow to anger, slow to speak, quick to listen." And there is so much more wonderful advice and truth.
I am learning to trust, have courage, and wait. "Wait on the LORD."
I have had a lot of eye-opening, soul-awakening, heart-revealing moments lately.... good, scary, unsettling, growing...just so much happening inside of me.
I have seen more of my fears coming to light, and let me tell you, that is not very fun. They kind of seem to be pushing themselves to the surface where I have no choice but to look at them and sometimes examine them, and question why exactly they are here. And then sometimes I have been able to completely let one go, or sometimes (usually) I can let go of some of the actual fear so that it just becomes more of an uncomfortable feeling or thought than something that actually controls me.
Alicia talks about the concepts of your "divine self" (your soul, the everlasting part of you, essentially the Real You) and your "created self" (the part of your person you have become because of your life experiences and conscious and subconscious beliefs and thoughts). What she works to do through NAET and the other treatments she offers is to bring these two sides of your person more together, and allow you to be your best self and fulfil your destiny in the most optimal way. For me, I feel like that means not letting my experience of illness essentially become me and change the way I think about myself so much that it keeps me from serving God to the best of my abilities. I also do not think there is any disconnect between these two sides, and fully understand and appreciate that God uses your circumstances and life situations to shape you into the person He wants you to be.
On my part, I have been doing so much praying, first that this would be something that would be pleasing to God, helpful for me, and that this would indeed enable to me to let go of what's pulling me down and holding me back so I can do my very best for Him and my family, and this world.
I have been working hard at acknowledging the things that keep coming forward, one after the other, to see if they are helpful or no longer useful to me; trying to just stay on top of it all, and just allow it to happen.
This is not easy stuff..... I am still living my normal life of wife and mother. Still trying to have some kind of social life. Baking goodies for people, playing piano for church, trying to bring joy and encouragement to others in whatever way I can.
This NAET stuff takes a lot of time and involvement and patience. But, like Brian says "at least its doing something." And I know it's doing something good....even though it doesn't feel very good sometimes, I know the hard stuff is the stuff that grows you, and this too will bring me closer to the person I was made to be.
You know what I realized a little while ago? I have some songs I play on the piano that are my own arrangements of favorite songs, and I realized that these songs are not written on any paper; they are mine, from my heart, put there by God, so that I could bring Him praise in my own special
way that no one else, ever, EVER, could or has or will. And that's just one thing...and that's just me. We all have something special and unique to praise God with. That's why He made you. You are here for a reason and a purpose and a role that you can alone fulfill. And you know what that means...?
He loves you. You are special. So be you, the truest you that you can be, because that is where you will find the most joy and glorify Him the most.
You are destined for great things because you were created by a great God who has great Plans for you.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
(If you feel like it, give this a listen- Danny Gokey~ RISE)
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