Things have been a bit rough lately for me. You would think that at some point you would somehow get used to the rollercoaster ride of chronic illness, but it really doesn't get easier. Maybe you understand some things more, or learn to cope with symptoms, or give up on things ever going back to how they used to be, but the little comfort there is in the familiarity of "we've been here before" isn't enough to get you through it all.
I realized that maybe one reason it doesn't get easier to go through the ups and downs is because I have not lost hope. I have not stopped living the good days to their full potential. Maybe that makes the bad days hurt a little more, but if you can't embrace the good days, I think that's a sign of moving to the next level of despair.
Don't give up.
As Spurgeon says, in one of my favorite devotionals, " Be full of hope! Hope forever! For God does not fail you." (July 21 evening -Morning and Evening-Spurgeon and Beggs)
I read a little blip somewhere online about discouragement. The writer was saying they felt like discouragement was really grief in disguise. I think that's true.
We all experience loss and disappointment in this life, and we need to constantly be giving these matters to God, trusting our burdens to His care. But sometimes we end up carrying our concerns along the journey with us. Little things add up to a huge burden eventually, and we are staggering under the weight of it all. We number our losses. We remember all the pain and sadness. Why is it so hard to let go of dark and ugly things sometimes?
There is a better way. A way of life, and rest and peace; a way of joy and light and freedom.
Psalm 112 says, "Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness...surely he will never be shaken...he will not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is established, he will not be afraid..."
Yesterday I heard some songs on the radio, very timely, about fear. One of them said "Fear is a liar." I have been focusing on that a lot lately. I've been having what feels like panic attacks, which I haven't had for years. For a few reasons, it's hard to know if these are stemming from an emotional issue or a physical/hormonal imbalance. I think it's a bit of both. But remembering that I do not have to give in to the fear, that it does not get to have control over me, is what has kept these extremely uncomfortable moments from turning into an actual panic attack, in the literal sense of the words.
Thankfully, God has not abandoned me, even though I am weak and afraid to trust Him sometimes. We have a hard time trusting at times because there is nothing in this world that we have ever known to be capable of truly never letting us down. But as God tells us in Isaiah 55:9, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful....Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: 'For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.' But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul." (Hebrews 10:23&35-39)
The fact that the Bible, God's word to us, has so many encouragements and promises is very comforting and relieving to me. "He remembers we are dust." (Psalm 103)
It tells me too that I am not alone in my grief or discouragement or fear; loneliness is a big part of the struggle, isn't it? I think Satan really like to scare us with that lie. We feel like we are horrible Christians for ever being afraid, like no one will understand what we are going through, and so we tend to keep it all to ourselves. But we are all scared and discouraged sometimes. Maybe the issues are different, but the feelings are the same. And God knows about all of it, and gives us relatable and sometimes very specific words of encouragement to keep going. Keep trusting. Keep believing.
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)
I realized that maybe one reason it doesn't get easier to go through the ups and downs is because I have not lost hope. I have not stopped living the good days to their full potential. Maybe that makes the bad days hurt a little more, but if you can't embrace the good days, I think that's a sign of moving to the next level of despair.
Don't give up.
As Spurgeon says, in one of my favorite devotionals, " Be full of hope! Hope forever! For God does not fail you." (July 21 evening -Morning and Evening-Spurgeon and Beggs)
I read a little blip somewhere online about discouragement. The writer was saying they felt like discouragement was really grief in disguise. I think that's true.
We all experience loss and disappointment in this life, and we need to constantly be giving these matters to God, trusting our burdens to His care. But sometimes we end up carrying our concerns along the journey with us. Little things add up to a huge burden eventually, and we are staggering under the weight of it all. We number our losses. We remember all the pain and sadness. Why is it so hard to let go of dark and ugly things sometimes?
There is a better way. A way of life, and rest and peace; a way of joy and light and freedom.
Psalm 112 says, "Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness...surely he will never be shaken...he will not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is established, he will not be afraid..."
Yesterday I heard some songs on the radio, very timely, about fear. One of them said "Fear is a liar." I have been focusing on that a lot lately. I've been having what feels like panic attacks, which I haven't had for years. For a few reasons, it's hard to know if these are stemming from an emotional issue or a physical/hormonal imbalance. I think it's a bit of both. But remembering that I do not have to give in to the fear, that it does not get to have control over me, is what has kept these extremely uncomfortable moments from turning into an actual panic attack, in the literal sense of the words.
Thankfully, God has not abandoned me, even though I am weak and afraid to trust Him sometimes. We have a hard time trusting at times because there is nothing in this world that we have ever known to be capable of truly never letting us down. But as God tells us in Isaiah 55:9, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts."
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful....Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: 'For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.' But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul." (Hebrews 10:23&35-39)
The fact that the Bible, God's word to us, has so many encouragements and promises is very comforting and relieving to me. "He remembers we are dust." (Psalm 103)
It tells me too that I am not alone in my grief or discouragement or fear; loneliness is a big part of the struggle, isn't it? I think Satan really like to scare us with that lie. We feel like we are horrible Christians for ever being afraid, like no one will understand what we are going through, and so we tend to keep it all to ourselves. But we are all scared and discouraged sometimes. Maybe the issues are different, but the feelings are the same. And God knows about all of it, and gives us relatable and sometimes very specific words of encouragement to keep going. Keep trusting. Keep believing.
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)
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