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Haiku , a Birthday Party & Reflections

Parties are kinda fun
But afterwards I often feel sick
Time for tea and soup.

That little poem above is how I feel today....
Yesterday was my son Nathaniel's 4th birthday. We celebrated by having my family over for lunch between church services. And then after the evening service, we went to my in-laws house for a visit. Busy day, but everything went smoothly, and it was nice to visit with everyone.
But now today, I am done. Already. At 10:30am. Well, I feel "done", but I can't be "done" because: - I'm a Mom - I have a post party mess to clean up - I need to prep everything for my next NAET appt. tomorrow, and - I'm a Mom.
Parties are exhausting to me. It's not that I don't enjoy visiting with people sometimes, or that I don't like hosting guests, or even because of the post party mess..... I am just wired in a way that makes so much contact and stimulation exhausting.
Classic introvert, right?
I read before that for some people, interaction with other people is energizing and, in a sense, "nourishing for their soul", as it were. That's an extrovert.
For others, interaction is, while still enjoyable, draining and depleting of their energy; namely, introverts.
The interesting part is.... not all interaction is draining for me. One on one conversations with a person that I trust and can feel comfortable sharing my heart with can be energizing, and uplifting, and "nourishing for my soul."
I think the biggest exhausting factor is having to guard myself...to hold back my heart as it were, because surprisingly even to me, I want to share my heart with others.
Sometimes though, I do feel drained even after visiting one on one with someone I am close to. And I think that is also because I do share my heart, meaning I put my whole self into it.....and I need some "recovery time" afterwards to collect myself and re-energize and reflect.
The desire to retreat and reflect and re-energize is even stronger when I'm talking to a "stranger".... basically anyone I don't know if I can trust with my heart.
Sometimes I have a very hard time having a conversation with a stranger......it's awkward and uncomfortable and really hard for me to force myself to continue an interaction sometimes.
What's also interesting to me about all this is, the more I understand myself, the more I can force myself to do hard things and also not beat myself up about feeling the way I do about things.
I used to think there was something wrong with me...I felt like a people-hater, or at least that people would think I was a hater.
But now I know I'm not a hater, I'm just an introvert. A heart-sharing, soul-baring introvert. And doesn't it makes sense then that I can't do that with everyone? And doesn't it seem too that there is something special about a person that is willing to share their heart with others?.....so much of the time I feel like what people talk about is shallow small talk that I just don't know how to do or understand....not because I'm better than that, but because I'm different.
We are all different. There basically a sliding scale between introvert and extrovert and we all fall in different places between the two.
My point in all this is that when you understand yourself, and appreciate the way you are made the way you are "wired", you can let go of the guilt, and you can just recognize that parties make you exhausted, and that's ok, and you can do what you need to do to recover.
We all have different strengths and weaknesses, so don't let your perception of someone else cloud your judgement of what's right for you.
God made you the way you are. Certainly I feel there's room for improvement in some areas, including my social skills, but understanding that I need some space and time sometimes has been very beneficial for me.
So instead of pushing yourself past your limit, check in with yourself and see what you need to do for you. Helping yourself be your best helps you to help others be their best. And that's what God wants from us.
And remember to ask Him for help. He is not a last resort; He is plan A, the first solution, the best Helper there is for you.



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