The last few days have been pretty crazy.
I have also seen God clearly working in all the craziness....His timing is astounding, really.
I've had some anxiety issues in the past, and a few weeks ago they kind of flared up again. It surprised me because it's been quite awhile since I actually felt anxious (paranoid even?) about things, and I don't really know why it happened...sometimes NAET/NET can do that for me. Maybe the holiday season parties and stress? I don't know. But it wasn't fun. And I was discouraged too because I really thought I was "over that", ya know? I had counseling a couple years ago, back when we were in the middle of my postpartum hyper-thyroiditis struggle, and between the counseling and really learning to just give things to God and trust Him more, and let go of my plan for my life, I was able to release the anxiety and find freedom.
So, I was having all these flashbacks and worrying about going backwards and really trying not to get sucked into the downward spiral....and I was just praying that God would help me not to take on cares that I don't need to be carrying and just trust in His Plan and His timing.
And you know what? He has. His timing of everything the last few days has just amazed me.
So what's happened the last few days? I'll tell you...
Actually, technically, this first part starts awhile ago, back when my sister-in-law asked me to attend the birth of her second child. Aside from the fact that this request is an honor and privilege in itself, I was very excited because I have considered going into midwifery or becoming a doula/birth support. (I don't even know how many birth-midwife-doula books I have read...) Of course, with two children of my own to think about, and the hospital she planned to use being and hour and a half from my house, and it being winter with off and on snow and icy roads, we both knew we'd have to "play it by ear" and "cross that bridge when we came to it", but I enthusiastically agreed to be there for her. So since then, we have been praying that God would work it out so that I could be there for the birth.
Well, to make a long story short, due to my sister-in-law's pregnancy progression, and some slight concern that the baby might actually come on the way to the hospital, the midwife felt that breaking her water was a good and safe option, so that was scheduled for Friday morning.
So, I had time to find a sitter for my own children, and make it to the hospital in plenty of time, and it was great. Three hours later, my nephew was born. It was amazing. And yet, there was something so normal about it all to me. Perhaps this is something I could do and really help people...
After the baby arrived, I stayed and visited for a little while, and then I headed back home, picking up my kids on the way. We had all been up since 6am, so the kids went to bed good, and Brian and I got to hang out for awhile, and then at 11pm, I left to pick up my sister who lives across the country and her husband and baby girl from the airport. By the time we got home and got them settled, it was 2am. I had been awake for 20 hours (and driven for over 5 of those hours!) and I was tired. But happy :) Crazy day!
We had a nice, late breakfast the next morning, and then Brian and my brother-in-law decided to go see a movie and my sister and I took the kids shopping. Or that was the plan...basically we spent most of the time getting food, eating food, made two trips to the bathrooms and four trips to the drinking fountain (because, kids), watched the kids play on the playground and then finally walked around Target for like 20 minutes...*sigh*
Anway, we get home, eat dinner, and my son Nathaniel throws up. Yes, he caught the tummy bug that's been going around. And we have house guests, and only one small bathroom. (-_-) So basically everyone just went to bed, except me, who stayed up caring for my poor, sick boy all night.
Sunday morning, Brian took my sister and her family to church and I stayed home with our kids, not knowing if/when Sophie might get sick. My sister and her family went to stay with my parents after church. When Brian came back home, we just rested and read and napped. I really needed a nap because the last two nights I had only got a total of like 8 hours of sleep combined.
Monday morning I ran some errands with the kids, prepping for the birthday party we were going to throw the next night for Sophie and her visiting cousin, who share a birthday. :) Brian came home from work feeling sick...and he was. A couple hours later, Sophie had it too. Another long, sleep-deprived night followed.
And then I woke up sick at 6am Tuesday morning. So all three of us were in various stages of stomach flu or recovery. Thankfully, Nathaniel was over it now. Found out my visiting sister also had it. :( We had to postpone the birthday party. And I canceled my NAET appointment for the next morning.
Finally, after a long day of sickness, I woke up feeling much better Wednesday morning. Brian and my bro-in-law went snowboarding all day, so the kids and I had a fairly quiet day resting, reading and sanitizing the house. The guys had a great day up in the mountains, which I was really glad about. Brian doesn't take a lot of time off to do stuff like that, and he does so much to help out here, I really hoped it would be a good time visiting with his friends, even though it's really hard for me not to worry about him being out on a dangerous mountain all day....I kept having flashbacks to when I was 9 months pregnant with Sophie and Brian went out with his friends to the moutains and they all ended up with stucks trucks and no cell phone service...and I ended up driving to his friends house at 1am, on icy, winter roads, only to find no one there...but that's another story. Anway, I just prayed a lot, and tried to leave it with God and surprisingly, I didn't obsess about it all day. And they all made it home safe and sound. The only bad news was that, as soon as he got back to my parents place, bro-in-law got sick. (But, he got a fun snow day and now he won't be sick on his plane ride home in two days, so Yay?!?)
Writing it all out, I know that maybe it doesn't sounds like optimal timing. Really being sick is never great, and especially when you have a long-awaited family visit interrupted by it, but I am SO thankful that we didn't get it last Friday and I was able to attend my nephew's birth. And speaking of the birth, God really worked that out so well. And then I was able to keep my commitment of picking up my sister and her family from the airport. And we were at home when Nathaniel got sick, and not on the mall playground or in the van or something. ( He even threw up in the bathroom, which has tile floor. Sorry, TMI, but it wasn't on the carpet or couch! :) ) And thankfully, since Brian had the flu Monday night, he had taken off work Tuesday, and so he was home all day when I was sick, which was wonderful!
So really, even thought this was a crazy, sometimes disappointing, kinda yucky last few days, there is so much to be grateful for.
And you know what else? My anxiety cleared up again, for now at least. I have felt so much calmer and peaceful and more in co,trol of my thoughts, rather than my thoughts controlling me. God has been working through these stressful, difficult days, and He just keeps setting out these little reminders that He's got this, and He loves me, and it's ok...I don't need to be anxious.
I have been doing more Bible reading too, which is definitely a part of the relief and healing. I also found this Peace of Mind video on YouTube, and it is so calming and reassuring to listen to...all those verses reminding me that our God is a God of peace, and He cares so much about us, and He will sustain us through everything.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:6-7)
I have a tendency to try to be everything for everyone all the time. But I can't. It's simply not possible. And so I fail, and get upset... But God can be everything to everyone all the time.
So just let go. Give it to Him.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29)
I have also seen God clearly working in all the craziness....His timing is astounding, really.
I've had some anxiety issues in the past, and a few weeks ago they kind of flared up again. It surprised me because it's been quite awhile since I actually felt anxious (paranoid even?) about things, and I don't really know why it happened...sometimes NAET/NET can do that for me. Maybe the holiday season parties and stress? I don't know. But it wasn't fun. And I was discouraged too because I really thought I was "over that", ya know? I had counseling a couple years ago, back when we were in the middle of my postpartum hyper-thyroiditis struggle, and between the counseling and really learning to just give things to God and trust Him more, and let go of my plan for my life, I was able to release the anxiety and find freedom.
So, I was having all these flashbacks and worrying about going backwards and really trying not to get sucked into the downward spiral....and I was just praying that God would help me not to take on cares that I don't need to be carrying and just trust in His Plan and His timing.
And you know what? He has. His timing of everything the last few days has just amazed me.
So what's happened the last few days? I'll tell you...
Actually, technically, this first part starts awhile ago, back when my sister-in-law asked me to attend the birth of her second child. Aside from the fact that this request is an honor and privilege in itself, I was very excited because I have considered going into midwifery or becoming a doula/birth support. (I don't even know how many birth-midwife-doula books I have read...) Of course, with two children of my own to think about, and the hospital she planned to use being and hour and a half from my house, and it being winter with off and on snow and icy roads, we both knew we'd have to "play it by ear" and "cross that bridge when we came to it", but I enthusiastically agreed to be there for her. So since then, we have been praying that God would work it out so that I could be there for the birth.
Well, to make a long story short, due to my sister-in-law's pregnancy progression, and some slight concern that the baby might actually come on the way to the hospital, the midwife felt that breaking her water was a good and safe option, so that was scheduled for Friday morning.
So, I had time to find a sitter for my own children, and make it to the hospital in plenty of time, and it was great. Three hours later, my nephew was born. It was amazing. And yet, there was something so normal about it all to me. Perhaps this is something I could do and really help people...
After the baby arrived, I stayed and visited for a little while, and then I headed back home, picking up my kids on the way. We had all been up since 6am, so the kids went to bed good, and Brian and I got to hang out for awhile, and then at 11pm, I left to pick up my sister who lives across the country and her husband and baby girl from the airport. By the time we got home and got them settled, it was 2am. I had been awake for 20 hours (and driven for over 5 of those hours!) and I was tired. But happy :) Crazy day!
We had a nice, late breakfast the next morning, and then Brian and my brother-in-law decided to go see a movie and my sister and I took the kids shopping. Or that was the plan...basically we spent most of the time getting food, eating food, made two trips to the bathrooms and four trips to the drinking fountain (because, kids), watched the kids play on the playground and then finally walked around Target for like 20 minutes...*sigh*
Anway, we get home, eat dinner, and my son Nathaniel throws up. Yes, he caught the tummy bug that's been going around. And we have house guests, and only one small bathroom. (-_-) So basically everyone just went to bed, except me, who stayed up caring for my poor, sick boy all night.
Sunday morning, Brian took my sister and her family to church and I stayed home with our kids, not knowing if/when Sophie might get sick. My sister and her family went to stay with my parents after church. When Brian came back home, we just rested and read and napped. I really needed a nap because the last two nights I had only got a total of like 8 hours of sleep combined.
Monday morning I ran some errands with the kids, prepping for the birthday party we were going to throw the next night for Sophie and her visiting cousin, who share a birthday. :) Brian came home from work feeling sick...and he was. A couple hours later, Sophie had it too. Another long, sleep-deprived night followed.
And then I woke up sick at 6am Tuesday morning. So all three of us were in various stages of stomach flu or recovery. Thankfully, Nathaniel was over it now. Found out my visiting sister also had it. :( We had to postpone the birthday party. And I canceled my NAET appointment for the next morning.
Finally, after a long day of sickness, I woke up feeling much better Wednesday morning. Brian and my bro-in-law went snowboarding all day, so the kids and I had a fairly quiet day resting, reading and sanitizing the house. The guys had a great day up in the mountains, which I was really glad about. Brian doesn't take a lot of time off to do stuff like that, and he does so much to help out here, I really hoped it would be a good time visiting with his friends, even though it's really hard for me not to worry about him being out on a dangerous mountain all day....I kept having flashbacks to when I was 9 months pregnant with Sophie and Brian went out with his friends to the moutains and they all ended up with stucks trucks and no cell phone service...and I ended up driving to his friends house at 1am, on icy, winter roads, only to find no one there...but that's another story. Anway, I just prayed a lot, and tried to leave it with God and surprisingly, I didn't obsess about it all day. And they all made it home safe and sound. The only bad news was that, as soon as he got back to my parents place, bro-in-law got sick. (But, he got a fun snow day and now he won't be sick on his plane ride home in two days, so Yay?!?)
Writing it all out, I know that maybe it doesn't sounds like optimal timing. Really being sick is never great, and especially when you have a long-awaited family visit interrupted by it, but I am SO thankful that we didn't get it last Friday and I was able to attend my nephew's birth. And speaking of the birth, God really worked that out so well. And then I was able to keep my commitment of picking up my sister and her family from the airport. And we were at home when Nathaniel got sick, and not on the mall playground or in the van or something. ( He even threw up in the bathroom, which has tile floor. Sorry, TMI, but it wasn't on the carpet or couch! :) ) And thankfully, since Brian had the flu Monday night, he had taken off work Tuesday, and so he was home all day when I was sick, which was wonderful!
So really, even thought this was a crazy, sometimes disappointing, kinda yucky last few days, there is so much to be grateful for.
And you know what else? My anxiety cleared up again, for now at least. I have felt so much calmer and peaceful and more in co,trol of my thoughts, rather than my thoughts controlling me. God has been working through these stressful, difficult days, and He just keeps setting out these little reminders that He's got this, and He loves me, and it's ok...I don't need to be anxious.
I have been doing more Bible reading too, which is definitely a part of the relief and healing. I also found this Peace of Mind video on YouTube, and it is so calming and reassuring to listen to...all those verses reminding me that our God is a God of peace, and He cares so much about us, and He will sustain us through everything.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:6-7)
I have a tendency to try to be everything for everyone all the time. But I can't. It's simply not possible. And so I fail, and get upset... But God can be everything to everyone all the time.
So just let go. Give it to Him.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matthew 11:28-29)
Comments
Post a Comment