Learning to let go of emotions takes some practice. Sometimes it takes very conscious effort to release something you are feeling, rather than storing it away somewhere inside of yourself.
I think sometimes we hold on to our emotions very strongly because subconsciously we think that in letting go of something, we will be less than we were.
Or because feeling something makes some thing more real to us.
Or because we don't want to lose a relationship or our status in a relationship.
I've written before about my miscarriages. Sometimes something will bring them to mind and I will reflect on my experience for awhile. I can honestly say that I have let go of a great part of the pain and heartache and that I am not attached to them anymore. And by not attached I mean that I have accepted them and felt them and allowed them to change me in the way that they were meant to (by God's grace), instead of either suppressing my emotions or living in them. They are still a part of my story, but they are not the whole story of who I am today. Yes, sometimes something happens and it takes my breath away and I remember that I never had the chance to meet two of my babies, and my heart does ache. And then I just feel that for a little while and then I let it go away. It is not a constant sorrow that weighs me down.
I think especially with something like a miscarriage, where there are so many questions and so few answers, that it often feels wrong to let go of that pain. Our grief and sorrow are such a huge part of our experience surrounding that person we never met that we fear that in letting go of those emotions, we will also lose what little we have of that brief life. The only thing that makes those babies real is the pain we now carry in our hearts.
But that is not so.
When we release the pain and sadness and maybe even anger, we make room for something else. We can grow. We can be free to enjoy and experience beautiful things again. We can become whole, rather than staying broken.
This does not only apply to miscarriages of course; every one has their own burden and it makes many different forms.
Paying attention to how you deal with your emotions is a very good skill to practice. Self awareness is very eye opening and provides ample opportunity for growth... or at least, it can. You need to choose to see things from a perspective of learning and be willing to change.
God is the greatest Healer, and He can help you to see things in your life that need to change and He can heal your heart.
The Bible tells us Jesus bore the weight of our sins, and that He conquered sin, and He can help you conquer your struggles too.
And best of all, Jesus bids us to come to him and lay down our burdens "and you will find rest for your souls."
Viewing emotions as seeds might be helpful too. Just as you press a seed down into the dirt and it grows and comes up and continues growing, so our emotions, when stored inside of us, will grow and emerge and spread, and so we need to check ourselves. "For out of the heart spring the issues of life."
Feel your emotions the moment; they are your body's way of communicating with you and your mind's way of sorting things out. If ignored, they will only scream louder and grow bigger so that you will pay attention to them. (Notice I say feel, which is different than acting on every emotion.)
And remember that our thoughts and feelings are not necessarily Truth or reality; they can be misleading.
Ask God to put His Spirit in your heart, to give you self control and to learn and grow in a way that is pleasing to Him. And ask Him to help you find freedom from being subject to your emotions, so that you can serve Him to the best of your ability.
I think sometimes we hold on to our emotions very strongly because subconsciously we think that in letting go of something, we will be less than we were.
Or because feeling something makes some thing more real to us.
Or because we don't want to lose a relationship or our status in a relationship.
I've written before about my miscarriages. Sometimes something will bring them to mind and I will reflect on my experience for awhile. I can honestly say that I have let go of a great part of the pain and heartache and that I am not attached to them anymore. And by not attached I mean that I have accepted them and felt them and allowed them to change me in the way that they were meant to (by God's grace), instead of either suppressing my emotions or living in them. They are still a part of my story, but they are not the whole story of who I am today. Yes, sometimes something happens and it takes my breath away and I remember that I never had the chance to meet two of my babies, and my heart does ache. And then I just feel that for a little while and then I let it go away. It is not a constant sorrow that weighs me down.
I think especially with something like a miscarriage, where there are so many questions and so few answers, that it often feels wrong to let go of that pain. Our grief and sorrow are such a huge part of our experience surrounding that person we never met that we fear that in letting go of those emotions, we will also lose what little we have of that brief life. The only thing that makes those babies real is the pain we now carry in our hearts.
But that is not so.
When we release the pain and sadness and maybe even anger, we make room for something else. We can grow. We can be free to enjoy and experience beautiful things again. We can become whole, rather than staying broken.
This does not only apply to miscarriages of course; every one has their own burden and it makes many different forms.
Paying attention to how you deal with your emotions is a very good skill to practice. Self awareness is very eye opening and provides ample opportunity for growth... or at least, it can. You need to choose to see things from a perspective of learning and be willing to change.
God is the greatest Healer, and He can help you to see things in your life that need to change and He can heal your heart.
The Bible tells us Jesus bore the weight of our sins, and that He conquered sin, and He can help you conquer your struggles too.
And best of all, Jesus bids us to come to him and lay down our burdens "and you will find rest for your souls."
Viewing emotions as seeds might be helpful too. Just as you press a seed down into the dirt and it grows and comes up and continues growing, so our emotions, when stored inside of us, will grow and emerge and spread, and so we need to check ourselves. "For out of the heart spring the issues of life."
Feel your emotions the moment; they are your body's way of communicating with you and your mind's way of sorting things out. If ignored, they will only scream louder and grow bigger so that you will pay attention to them. (Notice I say feel, which is different than acting on every emotion.)
And remember that our thoughts and feelings are not necessarily Truth or reality; they can be misleading.
Ask God to put His Spirit in your heart, to give you self control and to learn and grow in a way that is pleasing to Him. And ask Him to help you find freedom from being subject to your emotions, so that you can serve Him to the best of your ability.
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