Ever since I began to heal from my own health challenges, I have been feeling a growing desire to encourage and help others on their own healing journey. I have learned so much through my own experiences and,while my own healing is very important to me, the biggest blessing I can see coming out of this is that it has made me more compassionate and understanding and sympathetic towards not only the other people in my life who deal with similar issues, but towards everyone. Because everyone is struggling. Everyone wants health and joy and peace, and there are so many issues that keep us from experiencing those things.
The healing in my life has involved many different people and a variety of treatments, but the most important healing was spiritual, and while I believe that God uses and works through all the doctors and techniques and supplements, and that all healing comes only through Him, the spiritual healing and renewal could come ONLY through Him, through His direct work on my heart and my faith. I always tell my husband, Brian,that I understand where Martin Luther was coming from.. trying to do everything yourself...trying to be good enough...thinking that somehow, I can do it all by myself. But I can't. And the most amazing thing happened when I finally realized that. My anxiety started to calm down, my guilt became a much smaller burden, and I began to heal....emotionally, mentally and physically. To just be able to let go and let God take care of it was just so relieving. I was so exhausted from trying to do everything myself.
God has a plan. And when I stopped and thought about that, I realized that even though everything felt out of control, it wasn't. It was all under control, all going according to plan. God's plan. Now, to be honest, I don't always like The Plan...sometimes, when you're feeling physically exhausted and emotionally drained, you can't help but think "is this really a good Plan? Wouldn't it be better for me to be well, and be able to take better care of my family, to not have to ask my husband for so much help, or maybe if I got more sleep I would have an easier time being patient with my kids", and so on.
My husband could tell you how hard this has been for me...for us. How many tears and questions and prayers and appointments we have gone through. But God knew what it would take for me to understand that it is not ME, it's Him. He has given me everything I need and He continues to do so. This journey has brought me closer to Him, closer to Brian, grown me in my faith and knowledge of Scripture, as well as in my knowledge of His amazing work of creation- the human body & spirit. And I am grateful.
The healing in my life has involved many different people and a variety of treatments, but the most important healing was spiritual, and while I believe that God uses and works through all the doctors and techniques and supplements, and that all healing comes only through Him, the spiritual healing and renewal could come ONLY through Him, through His direct work on my heart and my faith. I always tell my husband, Brian,that I understand where Martin Luther was coming from.. trying to do everything yourself...trying to be good enough...thinking that somehow, I can do it all by myself. But I can't. And the most amazing thing happened when I finally realized that. My anxiety started to calm down, my guilt became a much smaller burden, and I began to heal....emotionally, mentally and physically. To just be able to let go and let God take care of it was just so relieving. I was so exhausted from trying to do everything myself.
God has a plan. And when I stopped and thought about that, I realized that even though everything felt out of control, it wasn't. It was all under control, all going according to plan. God's plan. Now, to be honest, I don't always like The Plan...sometimes, when you're feeling physically exhausted and emotionally drained, you can't help but think "is this really a good Plan? Wouldn't it be better for me to be well, and be able to take better care of my family, to not have to ask my husband for so much help, or maybe if I got more sleep I would have an easier time being patient with my kids", and so on.
My husband could tell you how hard this has been for me...for us. How many tears and questions and prayers and appointments we have gone through. But God knew what it would take for me to understand that it is not ME, it's Him. He has given me everything I need and He continues to do so. This journey has brought me closer to Him, closer to Brian, grown me in my faith and knowledge of Scripture, as well as in my knowledge of His amazing work of creation- the human body & spirit. And I am grateful.
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