SIBO Update

I have started to write an update a couple times already and apparently it's a hard thing to do because I don't really know what is going on at the moment.

I am still following the low FODMAP& SCD diets, which combined is called the SIBO Specific Diet. I'm still taking the herbal antimicrobial supplements, and the supplements to boost stomach acid and enzymes. Also taking adrenal support and B vitamins. 

Currently, the last few days have been a little less great...not very good sleep and not as much energy and some abdominal/digestive discomfort.

There are some things that are better...digestive/ abdominal discomfort not as severe, less cramping and PMS this cycle, skin is still staying the clearest its ever been.

But I have had some really good days in the last few weeks, and when it's not in that phase, it's hard to feel like I'm making progress.

I've lost enough weight now where family member are commenting on it. (No, I'm NOT trying to lose weight, I don't want to lose weight, this is a concern to me, but when you're eating a basically no carb diet and can't digest everything well, it's going to happen..) I'm doing my best to keep up my calories but it's difficult sometimes.

I am finding myself a bit overwhelmed with all the questions swirling around in my head-

Are we doing the right thing?

Are we making progress, or is all my hard work for nothing?

Why don't I get better and stay better?

I try harder than anyone I know and yet here I am...still experiencing symptoms...why?

Do I need to do a different test?

Do I need a different, or another, doctor involved?

How much is this all going to cost?

Should I try this other supplement that works for some people?

Should I change my diet again?

How will this affect my kids?

How will this affect my marriage?

How will this affect my friendships?

Am I crazy?

Will I ever be completely well again?

and so on...

I have to stop myself, take a deep breath and reframe things and ask myself better questions-

Can I trust God with my life?

Do I trust God with my life?

Who is it that actually does the healing?

Why is all this happening to me?Could it be for good and not evil?

Can I choose to accept it as part of my sanctification? 

Could it be that all this is awakening me to a greater purpose?

Can I choose to embrace the hard things, the scary things, instead of hating them?

What if I started to celebrate my illness instead of fighting it?

What does the Bible tell me about God and His faithfulness?

Am I believing the lies of fear and despair that come from Satan?

Am I resting in the truth?

Have I really let go and given God complete control over my life?

I truly believe that healing is possible. I know that God is for me and His ways are higher than mine.

I know that He has put our family in this together, and He can make it all beautiful.

I am doing my best to just breathe, choose peace, and trust.

But it's hard...It's hard to turn off the nagging questions and the comments of others and the guilt.

I didn't choose this. I don't want to be sick. I wish that I could just "snap out of it" and tell myself I'm fine and that would be the end of it.

But that's not  how it works.

So I am continuing to look for the best ways to support my healing body, reduce stress, and most of all I am trying to speak truth to myself.
I could also really use prayers and encouragement.
 Looking to God for answers is the only way to find peace and true healing. So I will keep going and keep praying and trusting that somehow, this is for my good.

Even though it's really hard. 

Let go of the past, do not let it hold you back. 

The good and the bad can both be a stumbling block if you constantly are turning around and reaching for what's behind you. 

Don't mistake the middle for the end.

Go forward, one moment at a time, constantly remembering that God's mercies are new and He has loved you with an everlasting love, and you belong to Him; you are safe, you are loved. 

There is always something to be thankful for, always something to look forward to, and always Someone who cares. And He does not want to you to be overwhelmed with confusion and anxiety. He reaches out to you with hope and says "rest in Me". 

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

"Oh you afflicted one, tossed with tempest and not comforted, behold I will lay your stones with colorful gems, and lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles of rubies, your gates of crystal, and all your walls of precious stones. All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not comes near you."

Isaiah 54:11-14

"We went through fire and through water, but You brought us out to rich fulfillment." Psalm 66:12