Tasting Life Abundant

I've been having s ome emotions lately that have been hard to sit with. They have to do with my miscarriages, and not knowing what to do with the feelings that are still there surrounding all of them.  It's not something I talk about really, except with my husband, because I don't ever want to make any of my friends feel bad about having babies. It's not about other people's babies, it's about mine. And I am truly happy for my family and friends when they announce pregnancies and newborns and get their babies baptized, and when they talk about how they're growing and so on.  It's just that, even in that joy, there's also pain.  They coexist. It's like nothing I've ever felt before... How do you mourn for someone you don't even know? Someone that feels more like a some thing;  an idea, a thought, rather than an actual some one . How do you find closure when that part of you doesn't get to experience moving on? And y